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Back to belonging

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Elmer
Dreamer
Posts: 228
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2017 7:57 pm
Character Name(s): Elmer

Back to belonging

Post by Elmer »

A year and then some, illness and pain, confusion, questioning worth and purpose.
Wallowing in self pity, the mind repeating over and over, Why this?
Coming to one conclusion, being punished, punished for some transgression that is in need of repentance.
Must open the heart and mind to someone, something. Prayers, pleading, confessing, asking for forgiveness, nothing works spiraling down into a cloud darker than any hell could ever be. Just want to end this.

Darkness.

Days, weeks and months are a blur, turn into a year, then more. Self loathing and self pity and more self loathing, worthlessness, then something changes.
How and why can't be explained. Words come silently to mind.

"You are not in control" - "Let it go".

Simple words, gentle words, saving words, true words.

Letting go.

Awakening to a familiar place, familiar faces, friends, family, love.

A smile long forgotten is found, a desire to go on.

Worth and Purpose.
-Silence is the best answer to all kinds of nonsense-
C*Val'He*E
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