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why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

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fr3y
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Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:38 pm
Character Name(s): Frey, Kendo, That one guy
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why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by fr3y »

This story took place last night and into this morning and fascinates me for reasons i don't entirely understand.

So my cousin has this parrot named dilly.

dilly, for whatever reason is completely over the top insane. It will bite you and screech with joy if at all able. When i walk past its cage, it bites the bars as hard as it can and twists its head like some kind of parrot death-roll. I've seen it get off the cage and walk across the floor to bite their dog, then quickly kind of hop/shuffle/skip back to its cage... cross my heart. This foul creature lived outside in a tiny cage for many years before my cousin got it.. and ate only powdered donuts for a few years.

So anyway once a year this bird lays an egg. It's not fertile, but she lays on it for a few weeks and it eventually gets rotten and they throw it away.. Mostly I think they let her keep it because she doesn't screech as much when shes sitting on an egg. She lays over it and surrounds it with her wings.. and turns its head sideways to anything that comes near, to really focus on it with one eye. She lays on it day and night and like i say is crazy protective of it, often times barely eating or drinking for a few days.
So joking around, i tell my cousin "hey you should tape some feathers on a mouse and swap it with the egg." Har har we had some laughs but it got him thinking. What if he put a fertile chicken egg in there instead?

Now I live in a place called French Camp. So named because the French Camped here once. There's little to do and the idea of seeing how crazy dilly would react to a hatched egg sounded pretty entertaining.

My niece was ECSTATIC. She'd just finished Charlotte's Web and the idea of a parrot raising a chicken on its own amazed her. It was like a disney movie.

So a few days back the parrot egg went bad and he went through with his idea. My niece couldn't stop talking about it at all.

Well long story short the egg hatched early this morning and dilly ate the chick immediately. My niece found the feet, some feathers and what she described as a bloody ball. In the time it took her to wake her dad it was gone completely. beak, claws everything except a few feathers.
11:11:28: Purple Lace: Frayed logic
11:11:39: You Say: no
11:11:43: You Say: Freyed logic

I don't compete, I'm the prize.
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Tember
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Tember »

Sooooo. When you told me this story yesterday, you left out the part about you being the culprit behind the idea. It all makes sense now :lol: :lol:
Dina

Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Dina »

W..t..f
Pheasant
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Pheasant »

Dina wrote:W..t..f
My thought exactly after reading this. I've read it a few more times and I'm still speechless. I read it to my own parrot and told him not to eat babies. I don't know that he cares...
DONE
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Cherokee
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Cherokee »

I'm with Dina and Pheasant on this one. I literally said "what the fu*k" out loud after reading. Lol! :lol:
23:48:24: Laviticas: (( I am going to ****ing say this now because I will not be back in the stupid game.)

22:44:20: >Jawsman evokes his own dreamquake, which is bigger than Magnilia's dreamquake.
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Tember
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Tember »

If you guys think that story is wtf, you should get him to tell you about breakfast on the farm at grandma and grandpas house :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: #gag
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Cherokee
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Cherokee »

Tember wrote:If you guys think that story is wtf, you should get him to tell you about breakfast on the farm at grandma and grandpas house :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: #gag
I'm slightly scared, yet curious!
23:48:24: Laviticas: (( I am going to ****ing say this now because I will not be back in the stupid game.)

22:44:20: >Jawsman evokes his own dreamquake, which is bigger than Magnilia's dreamquake.
Pheasant
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Pheasant »

Cherokee wrote:
Tember wrote:If you guys think that story is wtf, you should get him to tell you about breakfast on the farm at grandma and grandpas house :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: #gag
I'm slightly scared, yet curious!
Frey terrifies me now. I'm scared to ask about breakfast with the grandparents...
DONE
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Tember
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Tember »

He always has the craziest stories. Like how he casually told me today "spent the day at the vet, dog ate my medication". like, how'd the dog open the child proof pill bottle?! I don't even want to know! :lol: :lol:
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fr3y
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Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by fr3y »

It fell from my hand and that little punk was on it like something that quickly gets on something else. And yeah tember this is the long version.

And the breakfast thing isnt so interesting really, i cracked an egg into a pan that happened to hold a half formed chick and it left lasting scars on me.. I have to always pick that little white thing out of my eggs now before cooking. I don't think that's too abnormal.
11:11:28: Purple Lace: Frayed logic
11:11:39: You Say: no
11:11:43: You Say: Freyed logic

I don't compete, I'm the prize.
User avatar
fr3y
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Posts: 221
Joined: Sat Aug 06, 2016 8:38 pm
Character Name(s): Frey, Kendo, That one guy
Location: French Camp, Ca.

Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by fr3y »

And yeah jade.. it was pretty dark yet everyone i tell it to laughs at it. The vet thought it was hilarious.
11:11:28: Purple Lace: Frayed logic
11:11:39: You Say: no
11:11:43: You Say: Freyed logic

I don't compete, I'm the prize.
Pheasant
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Posts: 118
Joined: Sun Oct 09, 2016 12:24 am

Re: why didn't the chicken cross the road ?

Post by Pheasant »

Your life sounds like something that should be in a book. Like Allie Brosh's "Hyperbole and a Half".
DONE
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