- People matter more than beliefs. I feel like we all practice this on some level, and many of us have been in multiple houses, sometimes opposing ones back to back. But there's a dance we do sometimes about the importance of beliefs that has always struck me as disingenuous. Nevertheless, I think finding the right people is what makes or breaks the house experience.
- Leadership sets the tone for the culture of the house whether they acknowledge that responsibility or not. And leadership is at its best when it is lifting others up.
- 95% of it is just showing up. Being present matters. You can't participate if you're not there.
- House members can hurt houses more than outsiders can, and it's never worth it.
My history with Lyran houses:
- Free Spirit - I managed to make enemies with Wraith and Valourin as a free spirit. This was during an era where beliefs were taken so seriously that it was normal to collapse people and explain later when they had transgressed. I swore off DoL forever after that. (Put a pin in that. It'll matter later)
- Alliance of the Eclipse - Ambi & Nziri era. My first house, the one that still feels like "home." I was there at the time when the house was battling itself about whether it would be fully pacifist or allow the defense of the self and the helpless. I was a guardian at the time, and got a bit too hard line with the need for clarity in the rules. I still feel bad for Ambi's spirit being broken by the fight for a time. It sucked. Internal battles suck. Put that on the list of lessons.
- Union of the Covenant - This was a mistake. I joined right after leaving AoE. Terrible fit in terms of personalities, even though I had a number of close friends there.
- Order of the Sable Moon - In theory this was a house I belonged in from the start. In practice, it was stiff and stuffy and everyone was a bit too comfortable doing what they'd always done. Also the layout of the house is confusing and I am not a fan of brown.
- Keepers of the Eternal Shadow (Unopened) - This was me hitting my stride. I joined Berkana and Flagg's group because they really appealed to me. I learned a lot from Berkana. She really took me under her wing and tutored me.
- Absence - This was my first big departure from the dream. By the time I returned, KoES had opened.
- Keepers of the Eternal Shadow (Opened) - By the time the house opened, several of the groups that were trying to open it had fractured and merged. Bear Crusher was in charge at the time. This is also where it gets a bit fuzzy. I don't recall the specific chronology but there were a number of instances of joining and leaving for various causes. The subpoints I remember: I left because Ceyllynn was being promoted. I stayed away during Khateyana's dictatorship even though we were friends when she was an initiate. Magnilia and I didn't get along back then, so I left again when she took charge. Synteny was the only active guardian for a while when I rejoined. He was promoted to ruler, then I was promoted shortly after while we were rebuilding the house. About 8 days later, he asked to talk to me about something, and while I was in the middle of replying he attacked me, collapsed me, demoted me, and demoted me out of the house. I never got a good explanation, and it came as a shock from someone I used to see as a brother. I have not had a kind word to say about him in the 18 years since so I will leave it at that. The incident with Synteny may have been before Magnilia. Again, the chronology is confusing after all this time.
- I coasted for a while as a free spirit. I hated it, but I didn't have a lot of choice at that point. Protectors of Raidance, House Calenture, and Gathering of the Entranced were very close knit and difficult to interact with except on their terms.
- The mad, jump ball scramble - In the early days, reopening a house meant finding a number of artifact pieces and assembling them to create a prime with a group of others. Tamarisk and HikariX joined me in trying to open a house. We paired up with Vampyro and Shae's group from Idoaclesia, since they were very similar in outlook to us. But a miscommunication led to a fracture. In the end all of us joined Poppygirl in opening DoL.
- Dreamers of Light - This was the first time it came together for me how important group cohesion was. For the first time we all just... clicked. The beliefs were never mine, but it mattered to me that the house succeed because I cared about those specific people. We were attacked by Gerroz's crew and the power of our essence room was drained. Single largest battle I've ever fought in with stakes that high. Then BladeSlayer returned, and because he was an old time Lyran DoL ruler, there was pressure to raise him. It suddenly became an issue that I didn't believe strongly enough. So I left, and within a month Blade had expelled poppygirl and several others from the very house they had built, and turned it into his own personal playground. It sucked.
- Keepers of the Eternal Shadow - This was an odd moment. I proclaimed myself protector of the house in the absence of anyone who called it home. It was a sacred space that was being desecrated by people who craved its mysteries. I was actually granted a crest by a dark mare of all things. While there I helped protect a nest. At the time, there were dreamers attempting to breach the sealed house portals by force, and Darby and Magnilia offered to help keep the egg safe. So I brought the egg to AoE before it could be destroyed. However, the mares interpreted it as an attack and came after me before I could explain the danger the egg was in. My crest was stripped.
- Alliance of the Eclipse - Magnilia and Darby wanted me to join their leadership team, and I accepted. During that time we were a vibrant, popular house. We worked to make sure every member had opportunities to shine, and we looked out for each other with a level of harmony that I'd not seen since the early days with KoES. It was a wonderful moment. My best friend was also a ruler at HC at the time, so we frequently had opportunities to support one another's initiatives. It was the single greatest time I've had in a house. By far. However, some unfortunate events led to Magnilia being forced from the city, and I decided my efforts were no longer needed either under those circumstances.