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Sadara Kareen

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2019 8:38 am
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
My name is Sadara Kareen. I live with my mother, within our home we live peacefully. We've been...in hard times before and its a relief that now we live in peace.
Just a couple years ago my brother, Sendea, began threatening my mother and I with harm. Until I killed him...
I loved my brother dearly...yet I was scared that he was going to kill us.
It all began after our father died in a horrible accident as I was being born, he was traveling to go to the hospital...
I knew being born was my fau...nevermind.

Me and Sendea used to be close. What happened though? When we began training for war, he got good with a Broad Sword and I a Rapier. He would get hyper aggressive with our training and even our at home spars tackling and going hand to hand. Even going as far as to insist that we use the real sword to practice.
I got increasingly torn between him and my training. He would boast all about how he could kill 50 men with his skills in an hour. I'd just shrug him off and tell him that he wishes he could, his replies were always the same, "I could at least cut you down." Then one day we had an argument about me stopping my training, he kept persisting and threatening that he would attack mother, just to see how I would react, if I would fight or sit back and be "just like mother". I begged him to stop and I pleaded that ill continue training...if only he stopped choking mother...

*The rest of the writing has been compromised due to what seem to be tears.*

Sadara Kar

Posted: Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:02 am
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
It seems as if within the city many were impressed while some very upset that my brother's death was at the hands of his own. Challenging my own brother to a duel...was risky. My mother begged me not to, she feared that I would be slain. Why didn't I listen to her?
Because...of my ignorance and pride.
I had to prove to not only to my brother, mother, and village...to mainly myself. I've always been shy, quiet, and seen as weak due to my demeanor and stature. I never wanted to hurt my brother, I looked up to him even though he was two years older than me. His attitude...his strength...his reputation...it scared me...yet it was something I aspired to become...
Frankly I didn't know why I tried so hard...as I watched my brother's blood pool around his body, I cried like never before. And while I was never a violent person, It came so naturally...that scared me even more than anything. Afterward as I was being praised by some and jeered by others I told myself...I told myself..
I never wanted it to come to this...

*Dried blood is smeared over the rest of the sentence and begins again*

I learned something...though...
I don't need to follow anyone's footsteps. I make my own.
Yet my every action has consequence, every action.

Sadara

Posted: Tue Jan 29, 2019 10:34 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
I can still see that look in his eye. Was it of fear? Or defeat? Humility? My mother would think of the first. I went from her "Little Gem" to her nightmare come to life. She despised me even more so than I did myself.
Gradually I came to terms with my actions. Mother could not. She told me later in the week, "I would have rather he kill me than for you to disgrace our family." I...was devastated.
I never wanted to disappoint my mother in anyway, from a child to my young adult years now...and even more so now.

She never told me the exact reason why she became so distant, I tried time and time again to talk to her...I never got an answer.
Maybe I never will...
And, im ok with that.
Time. Some use it to heal, some to help, and others waste it.
And I don't want to waste any time. I want to help others, teach others, love others...

Yet with time I'll learn to move pass my past. My future is bright and there's so much that I've yet to learn, no need trying to fix my perception of the past or even trying to change the past...
With time my mother will come to terms with my past. And with time ill carry my brother's legacy onward, without seeing him as an enemy.
And with time ill learn to love not just someone else, hopefully myself.

S A D A R A K A R E E N

Posted: Mon Mar 25, 2019 6:04 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
This dream has been wonderful! I don't remember when I entered, I just remember... falling asleep? I'm a Soulmaster however! And I'm so excited to give back to the city and help restore it!
Within this City are so many wonderful Dreamers. I'm afraid though...
There is so much... conflict within this beautiful city, many have miscommunications that seem to escalate. Some though... are just plain. Black and White. I guess that's what makes us people, we all are unique. I wish that everyone respected that.
I have friends though, beautiful friends! And I found love. Something that I never thought I could find...

I'm just scared now, I've entered... things have happened, and now I'm starting to regain some of my memories of... something? I don't...


THE PAGE IS BURNED OFF AT THE ENDS

S A D A R A

Posted: Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:11 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
So... it appears that while within the city the memories I thought I had in my shard... some have been tweaked? I remember clearly... my brother, my mother and well the... WITCH. Yet now theres more details... more things that have been coming in ever since ive started dreaming. Some things are changing in my memory as well.. its... I dont know.
Nathan had a gathering where chaos was being used. The Chaos, it hurt me in a way that... wasnt like a normal pain. The Chaos didnt react in the way that I thought it would to me. I dont know what it really means? Maybe it means that im immune to the chaos? Maybe it means I have a connection to the chaos? Maybe it means that the chaos could... kill me completely? Yet the Chaos has had a strong reaction on my memories.
Ill have to be careful, ill study and research more.
Besides that however I have been putting my diary entries in the archives and I have been enjoying it! Cianne has been helping me greatly and I dearly love her.
Mandus has been in his shard... and... I hope for his return, safely.

*On the other side of the page there appears to be a sketch of a man's face. His eyes are shaded in dark, his hair is long and flows in wiry strands around his face some hair in front of his eyes. His face is scared, with the most noticeable scar down the right side of his his cheek stopping only before his chin. His jawline is strong and angled. His downturned lips are lightly scared with a visible scar that is has been cut down the middle of his lips. His nose also scarred, slightly leans to the left yet not noticeable. He looks onward with determination, mystery, and yet a warmth.*

S A D A R A

Posted: Tue Apr 16, 2019 10:21 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
I've... been having a hard time within the city mostly with myself. This Revenant thing has been so... incredibly confusing.
It all started in Thresh, the Revenant appeared and didnt say a thing as whispers started swarming around the room in the Monastery Hall. "Free Her!" "Kill Her!" so many conflicting messages. Then the Revenant appeared in the Lake of Tears, then in the Palisades in a cell and lastly on Mt. Illapse in the Illapse Keep Ambusade Sanctuary as she then proceeded to tell us that the Lower Palisades has been breached and that her people were imprisoned in the Lower Palisades by the "Knights" before asking us to follow her to the Small Dungeon where some more whispers were heard and a dark voice, I cant seem to remember what it said. The next day we went into the Acropolis as Picco invited us in. The Revenant appeared once again this time telling seemingly trying to free another Revenant. All the while this Darkness was pursuing her. I ran out of the Acropolis to make sure that Mandus was alright as he was elsewhere. I got to him... at the worst time. He was taken away by the Darkness and teleported to the Palisades into a cell, then taken out and thrown out into the Lake of Tears.
Mandus's hands were...
Shortly thereafter Coraal appeared behind him. I later found out that he also as well was teleported into the Palisades into a cell as well, however he was taken out by the Revenant. Coraal seemed... possessed by the Darkness... and I was so...
The Darkness let Coraal go.
The next day The Revenant appeared once again this time in the Palisades Cell Block along with Prisoners. They all seemed to either see the Revenant as a savior or a destroyer, the Revenant then began to collapse them it seemed. Or killing them? After the Prisoners all disappeared there was a sound of.. marching and people being killed. Whispers to "run away" began to be heard, some stayed behind as I was one of them and a Chaotic Vortex began to debilitate us... it was horrible.
The next day... the Echten Knights appeared as before hand the Revenant warned that the Knights were on Illapse... waiting to attack. We ran up there to meet them face to face and instead were met with a closed off Illapse Keep Sanctuary. The battle ensued, the Echten Knight, Guard, and Medic. They were all so very powerful as mid battle we began to become airborne in flight. The Echten disappeared and relocated to the Palisades as the Revenant told us. We all went down where another battle broke out. After the Etchen left however, the Revenant appeared once more and began to answer some questions. She said that there is a Prophecy? She also said that she has had many past lives and that this time was different, she also stated that she has had many roles to play in past lives Savior, Destroyer, and she even helped the Darkness. She then also stated that she was Yissen. After that she then said that we should go down to the Lower Palisades to help the other Yissen.

However, as of today... I spoke with the Echten Guard and Knight. The Guard then proceeded to tell me to return her to them as she was a prisoner no really other explanation just that she was a prisoner and had escaped. And within Four Days they would come, reset and try again if she was not returned. The Darkness also whispered to me, telling me, "I do not wish to harm you. I just want her back. I have been below you for centuries without trouble. Only now have I emerged, to bring her back." The Echten came to me to tell everyone, due to the Darkness telling them to. The Darkness then stated to me, "We give you the rest of the week before we must act."

All of this.. has been. So... stressful

S A D A R A

Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 6:15 pm
by Sadara
Several sketches are shown in an opened plum diary

A calm woman stands in the middle of the page, surrounded by a flurry of snow. She wears a flowing dress seemingly formed from snowflakes, yet its not see-through. She holds a paintbrush in her right hand on her side, in her other hand her palms are faced up seemingly creating the snow flurries around her. Her eyes are closed as her hair flows around her shoulders gently cascading over them. She seems to have a warm expression on her face as a slight smirk, creases the corners of her mouth. - The Queen of Frost

A woman stands stoically in the middle of the page facing away, staring off into the distance at something. She wears a mask with detailed designs, as her hair that is in a tightened bun pinned together with a sharp blade-like pen. The quills of the pen shape the letter "T". She wears a long robe that is spotless yet something that appears to be a blade is outlined on her thigh through her robe, her hands are together in front of her as if to pray. Through the slits in her mask her eyes are gleaming. They show determination, strength, and a story of pain. - The White Lady

A seductive woman stands in the middle of the page, not wearing her usual attire. She wears a corset that is detailed with tiny spiders, she wears long pants that are sheen and textured. They appear to be made of Horron skin. On her waist is a belt that carries a mask, a large vial, and several keys. In her right hand to her side she holds a bundle of Chakrams, in her left she holds a book that is opened and positioned a foot away from her face. Her black hair flows behind her back as her eyes are focused on book intently reading, she grins playfully. A cloud is sketched in from the bottom of the page, shaded in different layers obscuring the woman's feet. - The Matron

At the bottom of each page is a signature - {S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Fri May 17, 2019 9:16 am
by Sadara
The plum diary is opened on the ground as a tattered and tear stained page is shown.

Dear Diary,
It's been a while...
A lot has been happening within the dream... and I seem to be... I just...
I need to get something off my chest.
In my shard, I did kill my brother yes... however that was never my blood brother. There are things that are still haunting me, even within the dream. Let me start from the beginning.

I was born from a woman that used to love. From then on she never wanted anything more than to have a child to torture, to make them do what she wanted, and to break. My father the man that I came from was a deceitful man full of secrecy, concealed in a layer of anger and a deviant man... My twin brother and I were born from this woman. Our family lived out in this dark swamp land, in this wooden shack on the lake. At 5 years old me and my brother wore sacks for clothes, hunted for our food with a hand made bow, chopped what dry wood we could. Yet all the while we were... content being secluded. Being secluded... no one can hear your screams.
My once... mother, I remembered that one day she made us dinner. It wasn't a very productive hunt that week yet the woman pulled some strings and got us dinner for that night. We ate... father was home this night... yet this night while he sat in his clean linen robes, eating the brown rice and meat. I never...
I never saw someone's face contort into that of terror, pain, and disgust... He screamed so loud... that I couldn't hear the crickets chirp outside anymore. He looked at the woman with a horror in his eye.

That... grin. My mother's face began shifting, her mouth crawled into a wicked grin that spread from ear to ear. Her eyes sunk into her skull as her black hair started flailing and flying upwards as if it were on fire. Her teeth... grew two inches, her jaw enlarged, her nails grew a sharp five inches. I will never forget... how wide her mouth opened... how she sunk her teeth into his neck. The red blood that soaked my freshly washed socks.
I was frozen. My brother next to me crying and wailing... as I just... sat there watching as they fought.
He left.. that night for good, never to be seen again. Abandoned us...

During that time... she just kept getting worse... she kept turning more and more devilish. I told myself and my brother that we were leaving we can escape. He ignored me... and as soon as I turned 10, I got the courage to runaway. I tried to bring him... to take him with me...I grabbed him by his wrist. I regret... not trying harder.
She found out as soon as my brown and soiled sock had touched the ground on the other side of that door, I saw her... her face pop out from around that dark back room like a groundhog a her eyes burned fire...
I froze.

The page is torn out on the other side of the diary.

S A D A R A

Posted: Wed May 22, 2019 7:36 pm
by Sadara
A tear stained page that seems to have been torn from a book is loosed from the back of the plum diary that sits on the ground

... why did I stop at the door for that moment? It might've been the memories... the memories of that broken down wooden shack. Though as dark as they may be, my twin brother and I had to rely on each other during those 5 years. And at that moment, I realized that I couldn't even remember his name. Through all the murders, abuse, and black magic... I couldn't even remember his name. Within those few seconds I had a choice to make, stay and protect him or leave and escape the hell that I've had to endure. I realized in that moment that sometimes, you can't make people do something that they don't want to do... I can only do so much begging and pleading to get him to budge. Nothing worked...
So I ran as fast as I could... not even looking back. My mother.. she had screamed something out the door, something so ear piercing that it made my ears bleed yet I continued running. While running through the dark and damp woods I cried thinking about the torture. The ways that she would slap me across my face, leaving welts of her long nails across my cheek. The induced vomiting on regular basis whenever she would force us to drink one of her potions. The blood libels she forced us to watch and partake in after kidnapping another one of the Man's bastard children. The faces of those children... I will never forget their screams...
The smell of the dank swamp refreshed me. It was much better than the smells of boiling blood, bile--

Through the ever passing derelict woods, I kept envisioning the face of a demon that always seemed to be in my nightmares. It was this... ape-like demon... sitting on my chest, just staring at me with these big eyes the size of lemons and the color of a pitch black soul piercing gaze. I remember telling my brother who was avid in reading, he had told me before that demon was an Incubus. He then just never spoke of it again, even after I had asked him many times what that Demon was supposed to be... he never told me. I do know years later... and I finally found out what that woman's purpose was, a Witch who wanted to create more witches... and how she wanted to do that was cast a spell on me... my nightmares were not coincidental they... were actually happening.

After randomly running through the woods for what seemed like days, I had reached an opening in the woods, a small village. The sun pierced through the rest of the little bit of woods as I walked closer toward the village. I had never seen the sun like that in such a bright and hot ray. As I got to close to village this woman that I could barely make out as I was blinded and my eyes were squinted almost to a close. That wonderful woman, my adoptive mother, ran up to me wrapping a blanket, a hand woven wool blanket around me. Behind her I saw in the window the silhouette of a tall boy. That boy was Sendea. My new adoptive mother, looked at me with the most worried expression I've ever seen on a person, she kept asking me was I alright, was I hurt... my attire was worrisome. My hair was matted with blood, dirt, and loose leaves. I wore a burlap sack that was stained with splattered dried blood, streaks of ashes, and torn holes from wear. On my feet were the same socks... brown with caked on mud, excrement and dead leaves. My face I don't know... I must've looked... scary...
My adoptive mother took me into her house as she cleaned me with soap that smelled like honeysuckle, clothed me with a soft cotton dress, and fed me a vegetable soup that was the best I'd ever had.
As I sat there at her feet as she combed through my hair, I thought back to what that Witch screamed at me...
Something that I never gave any attention to...
Something that frightened me even thinking of what it could mean...
Something that makes me scared of myself...
"YOU WILL TURN."

S A D A R A: Creation and Destruction

Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 10:52 am
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
Sometimes, whenever I dream I have days that I contemplate creation and destruction, something that I have asked myself when I wake and spent days trying to find the balance in duality. What does Duality mean really? The opposite of something, most noticeable Good and Evil. What of Creating and Destroying something?

It was quite a heavy question I tasked myself, as I knew the benefits of creation. I can create anything really, a birdhouse, creating a nice meal, creating a painting. Though what are the benefits of Destruction? Natural disasters, accidents, my own rage... Creation is something beautiful, Destruction though can also be seen as something beautiful. Creating takes time and effort, as a book also takes time to go through drafts. Destruction takes mere seconds and can be painful, though in some cases it doesn't. When creating and destroying past drafts in the writing process, your refining and making something better with that destruction! Refinement, is the balance of Creation and Destruction, creating something that has value, then destroying, and rebuilding to make something more valuable. Its very similar to a restoration of old rusted swords I've seen at the Smithery. I usually see them breaking away the old wooden handles, or reshaping the sword entirely. Its, kinda similar to Good and Evil... sometimes some evil people can be refined into a good person with the needed help... sometimes that is. Realizing such, it gave me a deeper appreciation for creation and destruction, such wonderful gifts.

As I had came to that conclusion after possibly many weeks of thinking, and sitting in Mother's chair watching Sendea trying to build together a chair that had broken after my own destructive habits of standing on things. I was trying to reach the upper shelf of the bookcase. Sitting there as well I thought, "Its so nice to finally have a family." I remember having turned 13 and Mother had gotten me a lovely short sleeve purple dress. It was dyed the prettiest shade of violet, like the color of amethyst. The same color I remember of Mother's robes. I loved that dress dearly, as it reminded me of Mother and it was soft, better yet it was also my favorite color! Sendea was 15 at the time and he was so... jealous of my dress. He was given a chore by Mother to clean the floors. So he decided to... use my dress to wash the floors with, all the while I was out helping Mother with errands. I was so upset. My dress had been permanently stained with dust, grime and dirt.

Though as I started thinking about Refinement, I felt better. I took the dress and made it into a nice vest for me to where over my other dresses on the way to school. I could barely get out the stain on the back of the dress to make it presentable, yet it was nice symbol on the back as a reminder. Sendea had gotten himself in the barn for the night for that stunt. And a harsh discussion from Mother, that I could barely tuned out as I was sewing the vest together. Sendea the next morning came into my room and apologized giving me a lovely flower from the garden as a piece offering. He even saw my vest the next week and complimented me on my sewing skills, having me then sew him some new pants for school!

I... miss him sometimes..

At the bottom a nicely written signature in purple stands out from the black ink of the journal entry. -{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Tue Jun 11, 2019 6:18 pm
by Sadara
On the ground lays a plum diary, as its opened to a page.

Dear Diary,

There are some days like these that I go back and think about my time within my Adoptive Mother's home. What it felt like to be loved for the first time, what if felt like to actually have a safe home, what it felt like to finally be a child again. It took some time to readjust. Instead of hunting around for food, we go to the marketplace to buy food. Instead of reading books on Cryptozoology, life and social sciences, and ancient ruins; I went to school and had a schedule, a teacher, and other students to interact with.
I had chores, an allowance, and was taught how to be independent. It was such a change from everything I had knew from before, yet I had enjoyed it so much! My mother taught me so much, its on days like theses that I remember sitting at her feet, while she brushed my hair and told me stories of the village. She told me of her family history, how her grandfather founded the village years ago, her father was such a hardworking fellow and how all of her 12 siblings went around to other places, exploring and adventuring. She was the odd ball out and wanted to start a family. From her stories and experiences, I cherished her more and more. I finally began seeing my adoptive mother as my own.

There were however some bad days. Sendea was not as accustomed to my stay as he always wanted to be the center of attention, getting into fights outside of the house, breaking things around the house, skipping school. I really cant blame him, as I just appeared and all of the attention that he had from Mother was now on me. After a while we finally saw eye to eye eventually, it took some time though... Yet all the while I never let up loving him, he was my brother... and always will be.

All the while of settling in to my new home I gained more and more insight to who I was as a person, while little things rang in the back of my head... When I was 13 I went through a phase of adventuring that seemed to never go away. Stories my Mother told me of my Aunts and Uncles gave me so much joy and curiosity as to what was outside. For the longest before I saw the outside as a place of unrelenting pain, yet sometimes with another pair of eyes you gain a new outlook on things around you. I remember this one time when I traveled up the path of the village north toward these barren ruins I was told about within a story from Mother, "The walls of an overthrown castle, Castle Eurea, the walls crumbled around the castle so quickly it was as if was made of sand." Of course in reality to that story, I saw the broken down walls of the Castle still blackened from fires that were set around the walls to draw the guards. As I walked up the path toward the castle loose arrows were still strewn about within the overgrown grass. Some torched and some sharpened so precisely that they still gave off a glistening sheen from the sun hitting them. As I entered the archway of the walls where the gates had been blown to shreds from what looked like powerful flaming catapults, I was suddenly grabbed on my arm by Sendea.

I thought I would get in trouble, severely in trouble, even have to sleep in the barn or have to clean the house for the next two weeks. Though as Sendea tattled on me, I stood there looking down at the ground contemplating what Mother would think. She tilted my head up from my chin, and looked into my eyes as she walked over into her room and called me in. I didn't expect what would happen next. She closed the door and told me to sit on the bed as she went over to her night side table and opened up a drawer. She pulled out a small black box that contained letters and many strewn documents, after taking out the letters she sighed as she took out a small golden locket. It was heart-shaped. She told me to come over and carefully put the necklace on me. She then told me of her sister... that story...

The page at the bottom seems to have been torn off. Yet there is a small signature in plum that seems to have bled through from the other side. -{S}

S A D A R A: Memories...

Posted: Thu Jul 18, 2019 10:16 pm
by Sadara
I remember this... one time. Before I had ran away from the barren woods I was with my twin, he was scared as he kept hearing screams coming from the Witches den.
He grabbed my hand, and we ran out. Not to run away, to just run into the woods for a moment. We were afraid that the Witch would sense our presence gone. Alas she was deep in incantations. We walks through these woods, to find this creek... muddy, dead, barren... as usual. He loved to play in the water... I never liked getting dirty, I was to afraid of whatever it was... I loved fire though. I always carried flint with me, I even taught myself the old fashioned way. It was dark so, I lit a little fire, nothing spectacular.

He got to close, he got burned... so badly. I blamed myself, as we walked back to the cabin. He told that bit-- the Witch that he burned his-self on purpose. She just cackled... laughed... she knew.
She told him to come back, come back with her into the dark room... never again would I let her hurt him. I confessed I told her. That's what she wanted...
Getting drug across the floor by your hair... forced to partake in the making of a sacrificial offering... I don't how I survived...
My brother he was safe, that all that mattered. I gained resilience. -{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Mon Aug 26, 2019 8:40 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,

I seem to have gotten into a rut.
Sometimes I like to look back on things in my Dream, my history within the Dream, what monumental things that I witnessed or even accomplished. And I look back... and find myself saddened. I feel that I can do so much more, much more that I want to explore, discover, and create.
Yet there has never been a moment that I looked back and felt that I accomplished something in entirety. Moving forward, I want to push myself harder... Yet overworking sometimes never can accomplish anything either. You just burn out before you even get to the main event. Something that I find myself doing constantly is going into my thoughts, thinking if even Arnaya would be proud of me. Thinking if Alder would, if Amaranthine would, if the Temple would, if the City would, be proud?

Its a tough road, when some want to see you stumble. To see you fall at your highest, to be there and say, 'I told you so.' Yet fear hasn't stopped me from anything else in the past.

The City has a funny way of teaching lessons, or of kicking you into the ground until you never want to get back up again. I never want to be the latter, in any scenario, in Dreaming, in my Shard, in Life. Taking lessons and learning from something that even wasn't in your fault, shows a mature and responsible attitude.Yet why is it that it can never be a collective application for such wisdom of elders with grey-hair? Such wisdom can never be applied without a detrimental blow to the confidence, and such wisdom when held by someone who does not have the same outlook, can be used as a sword. Justification can only lead to egotism in times where such wisdom is overlooked. Mistakes and words can never be taken back, yes, yet the pain that is holding something over ones head is the worst part. Something that can be taken away. When a lesson is learned, there is no other lesson to learn, except to be aware. Aware of ones weaknesses, and aware of ones misdeeds.

Yet noone can control anyone, I can only control what I do and say. Things that I must always... remember, and things that I, myself must be cautious of...-{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 4:34 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,

On 8/31... Alder my tree father... he awakened. I never thought i'd see the day when that would be. Though the project was a bust for the Conclave portal opening, we learned a lot in the process. From the beginning we started the process of opening the portal, yet in still it did not open. Instead we were greeted to sinewy figures of... ourselves. Theses muscular people were expressionless, the counterpart to myself whispered, "Who are you?" in a reply to my own question of 'who are you?' Aileron, Nmoto, Mandus, Gorgunsun, and Aphrael were present. However only Aileron, Mandus, Gorgunsun, and I's figures came forward to the portal. Due to some... well some... things... the portal shattered.

In the process of us trying to piece together what we were seeing, the figures scattered away from the portal as if afraid. Moments later within the Conclave Zirobolus came barging in an onslaught of attacks against us. I felt so... bad that all my friends were getting collapsed due to a project of my own. Yet with power and agility, Aileron collapsed Ziro. We retreated up to the Harrow to just catch our breath and to make sure Ziro didn't get the upper-hand in case he came back to ward trap us once more. There in the Harrow in front of Alder, his branches began swaying back and forth in hypnotic ways... leaves began falling as well around us, with the same hypnotic glance on them. Alder whispered to me, "Bloooooooooddd." I refused, trying to get him to understand that I was not going to start a habit of giving him my blood, rather I told him that I would figure something out. He stopped swaying abruptly, making everything quiet once more. In that silence we decided to retreat to Albino. Within Albino however several leaves from Harrow as well as whispers, began to follow us, leaves appearing and disappearing constantly. Within this time Nmoto joined back with us as well as Yae, and Jade.

With leaves appearing once more after several minutes, I decided to go back and speak with Alder to sort this out. We went back into Harrow and I began to attempt to speak to Alder, meditating to connect to him. He said once more to me, "Bloooooodddd isssss mmmmemmmorrriesss." I told him that I knew that, however I was not going to give him my own. I tried to ask where his blood was with no response. He instead began to persist, with Razorwind around room for several seconds.

With people within the room, getting torn to shreds, blood everywhere... I decided to give him my blood, smearing my blood from my open wounds on his chest.

He awakened.

In him awakening, he... spoke to me... something that... I dreamed of... yet when he had to leave he screamed something that still is ringing in my head, "What am I..?"

My new goal, my new project... is now focused on Alder. Finding a synthetic form of blood to give him, or finding his own blood. -{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:57 pm
by Sadara
A plum diary sits on the ground opened to a page.
Dear Diary,

There was this one time I had a crush on this boy when I was in Middle School. His name was Lowrance, he had dark brown skin, and golden bright eyes. He had this bassy voice that would fill a room, even though he was only a year older than me. He was in Higher School in his first year. I in my last year of Middle School. He was so sweet and nice to be around, always remembered my name. He had this suave way of moving, speaking and acting. He was the most feared in the Swordsman tournaments, highly educated in biology and chemistry, and very very awkward.

With all his dreamy ways, he wasnt perfect. Far from it in fact.

The first time I remember speaking with him he was so humorous yet very stoic in nature. So poised, he asked me to go hunting with him. Ok well... not directly at me, he asked Sendea to go hunting and invited me along. Though I was right next to Sendea and he asked me as well so I guess he also directly invited me... by choice of course.

Hunting with Lowrance was absolutely intriguing and impressive to watch how gracefully he roamed about the woods. Sendea and I always hunted together, just us two, however with three of us hunting went by roughly slower that I had thought. From the talking to the random laughter, all the animals dispersed within a 5 mile radius before we even saw anything. However it was such a wondrous time.

Another time that I remember actually having a one on one conversation with Lowrance is in school. However this conversation was a turning point in my crush with Lowrance. In this conversation, within the hallway of the school Lowrance said some interesting things about the way girls dress. Stating that girls wear short skirts and revealing clothing to show off and be fondled upon. That girls are just asking to be "taken advantage of."

As I had said before... I was in middle school my last year of middle school so I was around 16. Around this time I went through changes and phases, I found in myself that I like not only boys, girls were also appearing in my sights as beautiful beings of art. Along with my phases and changes came some modifications to my attire. An over the shoulder dress never hurt anybody.

Alas I shouldve known a good thing like Lowrance couldn't last forever. We still remained friends, I just kept my distance and made sure to outline where the boundaries were. The lesson of the day, just because a girl wears something nice doesnt mean that they are asking to have their dignity taken away by roving eyes that are unwilling to take responsibility of taking away ones dignity, and rather blame the girl for wearing such. -{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Mon Sep 23, 2019 9:56 pm
by Sadara
The plum diary flips its page by itself...
Dear Diary,

My mother... my dear adopted mother. How hard she worked. Being the youngest of several children in her family she also was the most resourceful. Getting so many hand downs from over the years she knew how to keep her clothes last throughout the years. Patching and sewing things so quickly and efficiently that it never looked like it was ever patched. In fact several dresses that I've gotten came from my mother's older sister that was closest to her by 2 years, the pendant that was given to me was my mothers older sister the one that was almost 6 years older than her.

Stories that I've heard of them inspired me so much, and still do today. The first dress that was given me, was one of a woman who knew no bounds, a woman who was fearless in the face of persecution and trials. The pendant was from a woman who was bright, intelligent, adventurous, always in the present. Both of these women I have always wished of meeting. And the stories that abound, from my mothers mouth...

This one story of her older sister, the one that was 2 years apart, was of this time a war broke out within the city that they lived in. She was around 16 and my mother 14, their parents were getting the family prepared to evacuate the city, as her other siblings already on the road and getting a shelter prepared outside the city. However the opposing enemies of the war, had several troops invade the city and collect residents within as prisoners at this same time. The troops were moles within the city, people that they grew to know over a course of several years. My mothers sister had a close friend who chose to go with the enemy, and helped aid in raiding the city they were in. Before she fully chose to merge with the enemy, that friend threatened my mothers sister with death by the hands of her own. My mothers sister, instead strongly gave her a retort of pain and betrayal, all the while never wavering in emotion, while staring into her eyes.

While the troops were raiding however in that moment, my mother said that that friend of her sisters came barging in. Fully equip in head to toe with the enemies garb, armor, helmet and carrying a long silver iron spear already red and dried with the blood of a fellow resident, in her other hand she carried a burlap bag. She vividly remembers her quietly walking into the house, her parents on guard and standing in front of them in a defensively. She stopped roughly a foot away from them, and told them that she would aid in helping them evacuate without a scratch. Within the bag she opened them up to several shackles, wrist and ankle shackles. My mother remembers how she put them on all of them, the tightness of the bronze around her wrist, how they dug into her flesh and ripped open her ankle. They were taken outside of the city from the back way, along the way she said how she heard the screams of the residents and the opening of flesh along the path toward the back of the city. A few of the soldiers ran past and never even questioned. They escaped the city, while a lot were not as fortunate in that city...

My mother still has the scar on her ankle as well, something that she always looks at, to remember how her sister's courage and fearlessness saved their lives. Something that she is proud of, and something I hope to gain one day. -{S}

S A D A R A

Posted: Mon Mar 23, 2020 2:28 pm
by Sadara
Dear Diary,
Its been quite a while since the time I thought about the books I read when I was a child. There was this one book that I held so close when I was a child. It was called the Witch and the Fairy. The story was about this fairy in the forest that was on an adventure to rescue her love, from a wicked witch who wanted to harness the powers of fairies to summon the dead fairies of past as an army to take over the forest. Toward the end of the story the witch succeeds in resurrecting the old fairies of past, however the power that was within the souls of the past was stronger than the witch's mind control. In turn the fairies overtook the witch and cleansed her, reconciling with her and she in turned became a good witch aiding the life of the forest with her power. The fairy that was on the adventure rescued her love and the forest prospered.

Of course in reality this story is but a story. When reading this when I was younger, I always wished for the story to be reality. In reality the Witch would use her powers to kill all the inhabitants, turning the forest into a land of torment and her playground to feast on the souls that remain. That witch always won. Always present, and willing to engorge herself on the fear, panic, and pain of the innocent.

I always feared that I would become that witch. And of course my wrecked brain, always paints me in the light of evils. The power given to me, through blood... is something that I feared all the more. More than, my mother, the Witch I lived with. I remember when I first conjured magic, it was a simple sphere of ethereal mists. It was a controlled sphere, blue with airy and misty trails that circled within my tiny palm. I had felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety beforehand, my brother was trying to calm me down, and in my panicked state I pushed him back slightly... or what I thought was slight. He instead went flying back into the wooden bookshelf knocking down several torn and small books to the floor. The witch was in her room as usual, and heard the commotion, yelling from the room in a voice of a thousand voices. "Whats that noise?" I said in return, "Nothing..I--I just dropped some books." I could tell her disgust in such minimal mistakes, through the tone of voice that became hushed to one voice, "Keep on reading and you'll become weak. You already are." She returned back to mixing spells, as a pause of silence relieved me mind. I turned to my brother as he stood their staring at something, my hand that was lowered. I followed his gaze, to my hand and saw the blue sphere that formed.

Through intense reading and practice with my newfound power, I feared it more and more. Reading more about the power of magics. I forever shunned myself, to never show the power, never use it in fear that it would turn me into the witch...
The witch that was I was born to become.-{S}