Since that beautiful journey, I have been talking with the Sea Star, growing closer each day. Gaining her trust and mutual respect for one another as she has become a protector and confidant. In these conversations my own negative traits are splayed without judgement. She graces me with kindness as she corrects my course telling me what I need to hear rather than what I want.
I keep this journal here to document and remind myself of her words, and lessons.
One of these discussions that was rather enlightening went like this:
Hello!
Greetings Young One
It is an honor to speak with you once again Sea-Star
It is a pleasure to be spoken to. To have your grace in my presence. How may I aid you this day my dear?
I wish to learn... I have, been rather emotional lately. Overthinking everything.
Allow me to be your mirror. What I see is beauty, challenged by her own faults. You are to hesitant because of failure. You hate the sting of failing. The potential of ridicule that comes with failure. Therefore you overthink your true potential. Failing is not the end. Yet I sense that you tell yourself this, and still not truly believe it. Why?
I... sometimes I wonder if others see-
Stop. What others think of you is none of your business.
In the past.. some have said I want to be in the spotlight. And if that is true my failure is amplified regardless of what I do... or say to myself. Its scary.
What of your successes? What you have done so far. Your family? Your father is very proud of you. Your brother is very proud of you.
And It means so much.
Now what of yourself? Does the approval of others mean more to you than the approval of yourself?
No. I know what I'm capable of. I guess it is the believing it part.
Believe in yourself, failures are inevitable. It is how we learn, it is how we grow. It is human. Take time to self-reflect on your journey up to this point. Let us come back to this subject, let your spirit meditate on these words my dear. Be kind to yourself. You are to hard on yourself.
