Chronicles

[Cianne]

Mostly familiar faces, but places, are not quite the same.

There is no denying the exquisite beauty of the place, grand man-made structures, scenic natural landscapes of lush colors leave me nearly breathless.

And yet

A buzzing undercurrent of something unseen, yet felt, an ever present hum of warning runs through my mind and my frigid veins.

[Cianne]

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During last eve's ceremony there was a purging of emotions, oddly, I was oblivious to the surrounding sights and sounds, and during that
entire span of time, my own mind was devoid of any sense of thought or tangible physical feeling or awareness of any kind.

When I came back to myself again I felt completely drained, but also empowered somehow. I have no memory of what transpired during that time, I hope to the Gods that I didn't embarrass myself or distress anyone during the time that I was in a fugue state.

I've been thinking about how I am feeling different, having rid myself of what I believe to be a substantial amount of emotional baggage, perhaps the word would be "cleansed", less distracted, resolute. I also feel a bit more in tune with my elemental gift, I can only hope that in time I can understand what it is to fully harness this glorious energy.

[Cianne]

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I continue to have trouble finding my way around, I hadn't even seen everything new on my return, let alone a new City, no, a new Kingdom.

I am still not entirely sure how I feel about a Monarchy, but so far, the King and Queen seem to be welcoming and pleasant, time will tell.

Next dream I need to get out and explore in earnest and gather some supplies along the way for some projects that I need to begin.

When I am more settled in and have tasks well underway, I'll give more serious thought to my writer's guild, if it doesn't come to fruition, well, I can write anytime, anywhere, all by myself, just fine.

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 1:

Calming Flame
A single flame borrowed from a sconce in the Meditation Room in the Unknown. This fire glows with a gentle steady warmth, rather than a jumpy flickering flame. When held in the hand it seems to emit a soothing hum.

Vessel of Earth
A clear glass vessel is filled with dark, rich soil and gravel collected from the Black ID in Caudal Rift. It gives off a sharp odor that cannot be described, though not at all unpleasant. When holding the vial you feel a certain malevolence radiating from it.

Soul of Existence
Within this coffer made of ice is crystal clear water scooped from the center pool of the Soulmaster's Guild in Upper Lambent. The life giving water laps against the box in gentle waves carrying your mind to a serene vast ocean.

Breath of Life
As you peer inside of this tall, slender crystal beaker, you sense an ever swirling whirlwind of air. Captured at the Temple of Elements in the Primordial Breach. Ever moving and changing it repeatedly rises up above the beaker creating a fresh, cooling breeze, before lowering again to the confines of the receptacle.

Knell Vessel
An extraordinary instrument crafted of nature. A lengthy pipe, fluted at one end has been crafted from earth and stone, polished to a high sheen, a curved mouthpiece extends from the center. Beneath the mouthpiece a single flame glows, the arid heat and air rises up to meet it. As it is laid flat on a table you see several icy crystalized bells in graduating sizes suspended from delicate silver threads. The heated air flows through the pipe, slowly melting the bells producing a haunting, mesmerizing melody.

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 2:

It has been so long since I did any painting, I remember all those years ago creating portraits of dozens of dreamers in their favorite places. I wanted to get back into it, but I thought to try something new and different, a "living canvas" created with three dimensional elements which can be not only seen, but felt, heard and smelled. It took all of my focus and strength but I was pleased with the result.

The living canvas is depicted below.

This mixed media canvas depicts a woman of indeterminate age, standing at the gates of Thornhaven. Fairly tall and full figured, with a long flowing gown and cape in mixed hues of snow white and cerulean blue, created of fine silk, it billows away from the canvas, snowflakes and a cool refreshing breeze waft from it. Her long flowing glacial locks are dappled with prismatic ice crystals that sparkle in the light. The scene of the gates ahead are bathed in bright sun and lush colors, verdant pines with prickly branches reach out and emit a delightful aroma. The woman is gazing back over her shoulder to a dark doorway, flames lick the edges of the portal as they crackle and hiss. ~*C*~

[Cianne]

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I've been going through my old compositions and I can't help but wonder why I was so damn melancholy all the time. Pathetic. I can't recall one singular event which would have made me so. Kayasisis says that he senses that my embracing the ice and snow is perhaps some sort of shield of protection. At this time I cannot confirm or deny that, without more introspection, all I know is that it was very easy for me to embrace these elemental abilities. Though recently I was also rather astonished to find that I was able to produce a bit of fire through, well, I must admit I was a little annoyed at the time when it happened, so that, too, will require more investigation. That certain abilities could be in tune with ones emotions is very interesting, and in all likelihood, probably not a good thing? I cannot say for sure.

I look forward to more time with Kayasisis, he spoke of Spirit Animals, I would be very interested in finding what mine is. I will show him what I keep in my vault from my dear old friend Wolfgar, I think he would quite like it.

For now though, I do not feel like delving into the deep jumbled recess of my mind, I have a huge stack of paintings to go through, I know there will be many good memories to be had in seeing them again.

She sits on the floor and begins to go through the old portraits.
viewtopic.php?f=41&t=4215

[Cianne]

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I decided to do a bit more exploring tonight, not only physically, but mentally, as for the physical, I went into the Seat of the Crown and noticed a portal in there I had not seen before. I went through it and went down a long stairway, feeling a bit more trepidatious the further it went. What I entered into was some sort of dungeon, there were many cells, well, cages really though I suppose they are one in the same.

To say I was taken aback by this would be an understatement. As I stood in there, the room itself felt like pain and desperation, I swear I heard voices, echoes of crying, screaming, begging to be let out.

As I peered across the room I saw another portal, and found that is was Percival's Study, I thought it was a rather odd placement, though I tried not to think about it too much at the time. I entered the Study and saw some tomes on a shelf, they detailed the lives of the King and Queen, and some others were about, what most of us refer to as Darkmares. I did enjoy reading about Matias and Rivin, it gave me more insight as to who they are and what their lives are about.

As for the mental exploration, I am feeling, hmm, out of tune with myself, I'd not dare say that out loud near our Jake Walker, he would pull out his guitar and tell me to get in tune...
But I jest, and also digress. I know that as a Soulmaster I can of course delve into scholarly pursuits, I do that already, always have done, but I no longer feel bound to my resilience, and it is the *insight* in me that makes me realize this. Since my return this time, after ne'er five years away, I feel more in tune with my surroundings, the people, I feel as though I can not only tap into my mind with a deeper understanding, but others. I remember many years ago writing a piece about facades and how we as humans guard them. I feel like I can reach into those facades and see them for what they are.
Also, my cloak of ice has begun to melt at sporadic intervals, I should be upset about this, but... No one has really noticed, and there is really no reason to tell them.

On another rather interesting note, as my comrades left me tonight and I stood alone at the gen, the only things that appeared were DreamSeer chakrams. Coincidence?, I've never been one to believe in coincidence, things happen for reasons, there is no fate, we create our own. I am ready for a new journey of discovery.

[Cianne]

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So, another day to continue writing my Ciannicles, that's what I'm calling them now, it's more entertaining than chronicles.

Last night was A rather quiet dream, so I did some exploring among other things. I sat in the Royal Garden for awhile, enjoying the solitude and gathering some items, later dropping some at the Welcome Center, but it was already pretty close to full capacity.

The ice on my cloak continues to disappear, at times it melts, at other times large shards of it just fall to the ground and shatter. My skin is also regaining some color and warming, not quite as it was before I went up into the mountains, but I definitely notice a difference. My hair too, is softening and there always seems to be a fresh spring-like breeze about my face, it may be there for everyone, I don't know.
I mean to test it next dream, by going indoors, somewhere that the air is still.

As for the exploring, I ended up at Dorsal Rift and noticed a place I had never seen before. I don't know when this place appeared, but it was new to me.

It was the Hall of Horror.

Upon entering the portal, the first thing that hit me was the heat, it was like the very depths of hell, the second thing that hit me was the stench, a foul odor that is beyond description. Anyone in their right mind would turn and leave in that instant, but I am much too curious for my own good.

The breeze that was swirling around my face?, with some focus and concentration I was able to , what..make it more robust?, breezier? fresher? Whatever you want to call it, what it did was create some sort of shield around my face to protect me from the stench and replace it with fresh air. Had I not been able to accomplish that, I may not have gone any further.
All the while, the last bits of ice were literally pouring off of me, I tend to think not only because of the extreme heat, but the whole aura of the place, even from just inside the portal had me feeling not at all resilient, and also stripped of all my defenses.
Even though I had no idea what I was walking into, I had a strong sense that no harm would come to me inside that place.


I started up the stairway, all around me were ghastly things, bodies, eyes, dreamer essences, there was a body suspended from a gallows. The steps go up for quite a long way, and then it is a dead end, both literally and figuratively. I don't think I have every seen a place that so embodied terror, death, torture and despair, and again, in my mind I heard them all, screaming, begging for mercy. There were SO many in there, who were once living beings.

The thing I thought of again and again was, if this place is only in Thornhaven, are these all of the missing Citizens? I can only wonder for now, until I find out if this place was here in OUR City, and I just had not seen it because of the years away.

Either way, there is a story there that I need to investigate. In the meantime, I pray over all those lost souls.

[Cianne]

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Last evening was an interesting dream. There was a teaching lesson at the Stronghold, I learned a lot, but I also learned that I know nothing, so I will continue to investigate and learn, for that is where true wisdom lies.

I popped in to the Mercantile, Nugget was holding down the fort. What a marvelous and extraordinary little being he is. I had not formally introduced myself to him, so I did so, and I told him he made me smile, in response to this he began to dance, which took me by surprise, but even more surprising he asked me if I danced, and he waddled on over and we had a dance together!, it was delightfully fun. I will make sure to seek out my new little friend more often, I think we may have quite a lot to learn from him, other than dance moves.

I woke fairly early so I decided to seek out my Sage. I found him in his usual spot with a kettle on the boil. After we were settled in with tea, I told him what has been happening to me and how I was feeling about things. I asked him about the elemental gift that he had bestowed upon me, and if it was possible to blend more than one. I told him how I was able to shield myself from the stench in the Hall of Horror and how last dream, I was also able to produce a breeze, causing a ripple of movement to a stationary flag in the Mercantile. I also told him how my icy exterior was melting away and how I had to covertly remove my sodden, melting gloves and shove them in my purse last dream so as not to draw attention away from the teacher because of the water dripping to the floor.
I don't think anyone noticed, so that was good.

He proceeded to confess that he had never bestowed me with any gift, that it was in me all along and I gave rise to it myself. He went on to say that ANY elemental gift could blossom in me as long as I believed. He ended our conversation by saying:

"My dear Cianne Andrea McCleoud, You know what your trouble is? You have always lacked confidence in yourself, you did not BELIEVE you could do anything beyond the scope of ordinary, you always compared yourself to others far too much. Comparison, will never bring you any satisfaction. But you are learning, and you are growing, and you can do whatever you set your mind to, so just...persevere and BELIEVE."

[Cianne]

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Saturday evening I attended Jake's Bardic gathering, The King and Queen attended, so that was nice for them to come and show their support.
I enjoy sitting in the grass to relax and enjoy dreamers stories, poems and songs. It has always been a favorite part of my dreams, from my very beginnings. Last dream Jake gifted some of us who attended, a hand crafted feather quill to remind us and inspire us to continue creating. It was a lovely and well thought out gift and sentiment.

I enjoyed more exploring over the weekend, it is likely that most of the dreamer population have seen these places already, but I like wandering slowly at my leisure.

I noticed something different about the Stronghold in my wanderings, but it was fleeting, there one moment, and gone the next, This is worth more exploration to prove to myself that I am not completely losing my mind.

I found the Yissen Sanctuary in Albino, well it was not hard to find, actually. It is a beautiful place, I stayed there for a little while and just enjoyed the peace and quiet of it, and last evening while looking for a couple of dreamers, I found them in a place that was also new to me, a gorgeous room with a small pond just off the Basin common-way. I cannot recall the name of the place, but it was also incredibly beautiful and peaceful.

While I was there, Kayasisis and I spoke briefly about beginning the journey of finding my spirit guide. I look forward to working with and learning from him.
Belom arrived a short while later and I had mentioned the Yissen Sanctuary which was new to me, he said that the Yissen Sanctuary existed in his City of Idoaclesia. I found that very interesting, it made me wonder about all the similarities ThornHaven had with other Cities, including the one I began to dream in so long ago, and exactly how many cities and eras are a part of what makes up Thornhaven?

Was Thornhaven even a distinct Kingdom on it's own?, or has it been built over eons of time by, for lack of a better term, "snatching" dreamers, buildings and landscapes from other times?, decades, even centuries?? I wonder how long the time portals have existed. Are we even individuals?, or are we puppets in some sort of time warp game? and if we are puppets, who is controlling the strings?
I guess perhaps those would be questions for Percival , but it is certainly a lot to mull over and to question.

Over the last couple of dreams I have continued to change, I am not sure if I would say "evolve" but perhaps that fits. The remnants of all things frigid and icy have left me and last dream I was delighted to find that I seem to have a little companion of sorts hovering about me. A tiny, puffy, cottony white cumulous cloud. I thought it was temporary, but it moved as I did and in trying to swoosh it away, it would dissipate, then reform as it had been. I am tempted to name it and likely will, as I always have over the years given people and things all manner of silly names.

I hope to do some more exploring this week, and do some work on various tasks laid out before me. There is much to learn and do.

[Cianne]

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My last dream was a glorious one. The world around me had become much clearer, I felt lighter somehow, it took me awhile to determine why this was.

I went to find Brother Sirus, and as I entered the Dreamforge, I melded into the very room, meaning, I became invisible! I was then compelled to have Sirus see me, and without even thinking, gave him some vision, (he still couldn't see me!) it felt so amazingly natural. Then the realization hit me.

I was overcome with elation, , absolutely giddy. I am overflowing with Insight, the cloud above my head, (whom, by the way, I have named McCloud, which I thought fitting, my surname being McCleoud) So, McCloud drifted to the side for a moment to reveal that my halo had become a beautiful ring of sapphires.

I decided to go and check if there was a Teaching hall gathering, as I was not sure if it was weekly or not. I found Jawsman, Kethra and Sotto Mahoney in Threshhold. Kethra was learning about some new arts and Jawsman kindly asked Mister Mahoney if he would give Kethra a lesson about Ward and Amulet, I asked if I could tag along, so I did. Jasper also arrived a short time later.

During the lesson, a ward was placed on a portal and I was drawn to it like a magnet and to my delight was able to blend right through! What an amazing feeling.
The lesson taught by Mr. Mahoney was very well done and I enjoyed listening and watching.

After the lesson, there was some talk about exploring new places and such, so I took the small group through to the Basin which was right next door and into the room I had found the previous night, which I now remember was called The Pavilion, well it WAS called that, during our visit I dubbed it Kethra's Cove! She and I had a nice little swim and splash about in the pond, The men were very quiet, I suppose they thought we were a little crazy, but that's ok, it was good fun.
Kethra is rather endearing and full of spark!, and also extremely intelligent. I hope to spend more time with her to learn more of what she's all about.

I am beginning a new little project on my own, just to get to know Dreamers a bit better, I hope that they are receptive to my inquiries.

[Cianne]

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I've not been able to enjoy Sleep as much as I'd liked to the last couple of days, though I was able to have a couple of short dreams. In them, on separate occasions, I had more very interesting visits and conversations with two dreamers who I find particularly fascinating for the way that they think and process what is going on around them, and within themselves. I could talk and listen to either of these dreamers for hours on end, but time and commitment does not always allow such. There is a third, but that dreamer is even less visible than I, though when our paths do cross, it is always more than worth even a brief visit.

I did another bit of exploring in an early afternoon Sleep, this time on Lambent. I found a place called the Circus of Oddities, I was not able to stay asleep for long, and intend to go back to explore it more thoroughly, when I entered there though, it gave me a feeling of emptiness and abandonment and I wondered what manner of ghosts haunted it's halls. The more that I explore, the more it feels, I don't know, archaic? Dust and cobwebs, mustiness and mold, at every turn, I feel that ThornHaven has not been an active Kingdom for a very long time, I could be very wrong about this, more exploration is needed. In one recent dream, someone speculated "There is a noticeable absence of light here".

There was another special Lesson last evening at the Stronghold, I arrived late but was able to catch a portion of it, though the teacher speaks so swiftly I will need to sit quietly in deep focus and meditation to recall what was said in order to try to process it all.

I've begun asking my question to the dreamers, I've asked three so far and have definitely been impressed and found their candor very inspiring. As I collect more, I will begin to compile them on fresh pages., so far those I've asked, were not averse to me journaling their answers.

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 3:

Ancient dust of dreamers' past, drifts on archaic floor.
Untouched by living foot or hand, unopened rust hinged door.
A cobwebbed hallway, dark and stale, desolate of all.
Spirit voices on the wind, no one hears their call.
A Kingdom that was vibrant once, If so, when was it live?
A meddle with time has blinked away, all that would survive.

[Cianne]

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Had a few brief of dreams over the last days, was able to hone some arts that needed working on and hopefully will be able to find someone capable of helping me to move on with those, after that I will be ready for a train plateau task which will enable me to actually be of more help around the City. Have done a little teaching, but not quite ready to dive fully back in yet, but soon, as I think that Seer and sphere teachers are a little sparse.
I am still excited about my newly acquired boost of insight, the change has felt perfectly natural.

I was able to ask more dreamers the question that I wanted to, so I think I will begin to compile the answers here quite soon, a few at a time as I collect them.

Was able to attend Jake Walker's weekly Bardic for a short while, a small turn out. It always saddens me somewhat when dreamers don't come out to support one another, it is as noticeable in Thornhaven as it had been in past cities I dreamt in, or some will only show support if it is their "tribe", my own opinion is that our dreams would be much more interesting if we all tried to show up for events, no matter what or who holds them, unless told otherwise, and you know on that note, It is likely if people were told, "no you can't come, we don't want you here", they would show up in droves, that is the nature of humans, but again, that is just my own opinion and the bit about human nature is the cynic in me, love it or hate it.

Speaking of events, wanted to try to have a bit of a creative gathering, Samantha expressed her love of chemistry and such, so thought we could try a little shaking and stirring and mortar and pestle-ing to see what dreamers come up with. Hopefully will be able to do that soon as time allows.

Last evening a few of us gathered at the Rings to try to find out what happened to Helga, again, anyone was welcome to attend and investigate, but our numbers were few. We did come to some conclusions, though not the outcome we had hoped for, so will continue trying, never hurts to keep trying.

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 4: Dreamers Notes, The Question ~ First 6



"What is the single most important thing you can tell me about yourself?"



Eizen:

"I'm no longer shackled mind, or body to those that created what I am. I answer to only one now, and that's the ones that I fail in my investigations.
Even so, these moments in my personal journey of progression are more sustainable than a child who wa...

*Eizen pulled his leather gloves against his hands tightly*

"More sustainable than where I was before, than who I was before.
We are more than what we believe we are, or can be".



Kethra

"I would say that I believe no one is truly lost. Be it in the literal sense or otherwise, the path of one's existence is never far from under their feet. They merely need to search for the beacon to direct them once again.
Let's reword it to... that I believe the most important thing of myself is how when someone IS searching for said beacon...They will find me at their side."



Krodoc

I don't typically enjoy talking about myself either, but I think there are two aspects to me that are equally important, and one of them I consider a personal weakness.
The first is that I have never and will never do anything that I am unwilling to admit to doing because I don't believe in hiding from your actions. You did it. Own it.
The second, and this I consider a weakness...
I always seek vengeance. I just cannot help myself.

Cianne "you want to right, wrongs."

Krodoc

"Well it's more selfish than that.
For example, I wouldn't care if you wronged Kethra. No offense! I believe it is Kethra's responsibility as an individual to defend themselves to a certain degree.
Some situations warrant assistance, though. But that's a different matter.
It is when someone wrongs me personally. I aim to crush them".



Seraphis

I think the most pertinent bit of information about me is that I no longer have a body or shard. When I "wake" I am merely floating in the expanse outside the city walls. Drifting in a meditative state.

Cianne: "oh, goodness, that is interesting..is it because...you have passed on?...or..."

Seraphis:

"My body did...I was trapped within the dream at one point. For so long that my body faded away. Luckily I was able to sever my consciousness first. Lucky for me the expanse is endless and there is always new things to learn and explore."



Jawsman:

"My response is as follows, My past dreaming has influenced the type of dreamer I am today. I cannot ignore the past, I can simply incorporate past lessons to better inform past and future dreams."


Sotto Mahoney

"Currently? It is that I am still trying to find myself. Having returned to the city after so much time has left me hollow inside, and I yearn to find myself filled with the energies of the city once again."

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 5

Alive

The Living Dream beckons you to listen to the tranquil melody of Her Elemental Spirits.
The Living Dream calls to you to wander Her winding paths.
The Living Dream invites you to drink of Her pristine waters.
The Living Dream whispers to you to gaze at her glorious skies.
The Living Dream summons you to splendor in all that She is.
The Living Dream appeals to you to give and not just take.
The Living Dream beseeches you to avoid dissent and corruption.
The Living Dream implores you, to let Her keep on living.

[Cianne]

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The last few dreams have been interesting, though a bit of fun was had, which is always welcome.

I was surprised and pleased to see Amante and Crystalline had found their way to Thornhaven, I have not seen these ladies in many years, two deeply beautiful souls who I have a great deal of respect and admiration for.

I went to the Temple of Elements, and I noticed there, a portal with a barrier on it, the same sort of barrier that was on the paths to the plains before they were unlocked by solving riddles.
The magical barrier around the portal appeared as a fluid curtain of liquid light, shifting in hues of violet and blue. It rippled with a soft, undulating motion, reminiscent of a mirage. Intricate, glowing patterns resembling constellations pulse and flow across its surface, their light reflecting off the barrier in a mesmerizing dance. Occasionally, the barrier emitted a faint, ethereal mist that swirls and dissipates.
I was quite intrigued by this, and later on that dream I took Black-Lotus to see it, upon returning, the lock was no longer there, the portal it had been on stood dark and stationary. I sensed the portal led to the Unknown. I really would like to try to open this portal now, I feel as though something important lies beyond it.


I was able to travel with Lady Kethra as she honed in on her ability to Translocate for the very fist time, just to see the wonder and glee on her face was well worth it.
We went to the Lost Sea first, this is not a place I have spent much time, in fact I think I had been there only one other time and did not actually look around, for whatever reason.
We found a Library there and as I was in the front of the room Kethra wandered towards the back, she asked me if I knew anything about ancient weapons, I said not particularly and she went on to say that she found something that looked quite old.

I joined her at the back of the room and looked on the shelf, and I did, indeed recognize these weapons. I was quite shocked and surprised to see on display The Dreamers Blight, The Serpant's Venom, The Destroyer and The Protector, the four Elemental Blades that were reforged during my Lyran era dreams. Right away memories of old friends Kard and Erasmus came to my mind as they were instrumental in reforging the Dreamers Blight.
Then I remembered the Guardians of Soul, a collaborative group of Soulmasters that I was a part of in those days, the Serpant's Venom was reforged by them, I do recall the Sceptre of Souls artifact was used in some way, though I am not sure if I took part in that or not, as my memories of those days are fleeting, the name Talin Dametraz comes to my mind.

I do not remember who was responsible for the reforging of the other two blades.

These Blades hold great power and have been used through the ages to defeat many foes.
I wondered what they were doing in the Library at the Lost Sea and who put them there, and I also wonder if we may have some future use for them in Thornhaven, I pray that will not be the case, but it is a bit of a comfort to know that they are there.

The rest of that dream was spent wandering, relaxing and exploring with the ever delightful Kethra, and also the ever musical Jake Walker, who joined us later, and just enjoying our Living Dream in all of Her splendor and beauty.

I was able to attend the last bit of Kayasisis' weekly Meeting but I'm afraid I missed most of it. After that I was able to do a bit of teaching, which I am slowly getting back into, baby steps.
My "student" that evening taught *me* a great many things, and those are the best teaching sessions of all.
I do still need to catch up with Kayasisis as I know I have a great many things to learn from him, which I look forward to.

My next dreams had me hearing foreboding whispers on the winds, which was quite a drastic change from the dream prior. Although things like this are not unknown to me, or most dreamers for that matter, it still tends to produce shivers down my spine.
There were Town Meetings called and the King and Queen expressed their concern, and rightly so. Those of us at the Meetings learned a great many things about what may be reasons for these whispers, but more investigation of course will be needed.
To me, one of the whispers seemed threatening, while the others definitely seemed pleading and desperate, calls for help, but from whom? Helga? Tavyn? Others unknown to us?
Many questions that must be answered.

This week I will try to continue on with my Dreamer Notes, there are so many I would like to talk to and get to know, my Sister, Sadara, has said she would like to join me in these meet and greets, so that will be lovely.

[Cianne]

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Creative Notes 6: Dreamer Notes: The Question.

"What is the single most important thing you can tell me about yourself?"


Amante:

"While I'm still myself, I'm not who I used to be long ago. To explain that more...I think a lot of dreamers who knew me long ago assume I'm the same now. I am, to a degree, but like everyone else, I've grown and learned a lot. There is a difference, and I think that counts for almost everyone. It's important not to judge those, who are essentially new dreamers at this point."


Ezhar:

"Well.. I suppose I would say that I care very much about the trust and loyalty of my friends. Going both ways of course."



Sadara:

"I think myself I would say curiosity is rather important. I tend to get into things, sometimes trouble, sometimes good things!"



Nugget:

"Nugget like to learn. Many studies with Percival. Learn so much. Help make Personal Vaults with Percival for citizens.
Nugget more intelligent than dreamer think.
Dreamer treat Nugget like kid....Sometime that sad.
Nugget find scroll and Percival and Nugget figure it out. We work together lots.
Nugget just like to have fun.
Dreamer mistake fun for not smart."



WishBringer:

"At this point in time in my UL career? Well, sadly, I am mostly retired.

I can elaborate, if you would like. My dreams are haunted now mostly when I enter the City of Dreams.
The nightmares most folks see have a avatar covering their souls, I see nightmares in the forms of memories each and every time I wander a hallway.
I see faces of familiar friends and foes.
I see places in the dream I shared with dreamers who are no longer with us, having passed on their shard.
I see corners of the dream I laughed and wept.
This place used to bring me great joy, it was my life, my world, and I dreamt of the City even when I wasn't able to be a part of the City.
Now it bring more sadness then anything else. And its hard. Its hard to dream.

[Cianne]

Sentences in free flowing script continue on page 18.

In earlier pages I had mentioned about wanting to begin work with Kayasisis, a unique and gifted individual, he has so much to teach, and I have so much to learn. Here follows the account of our first Lesson together, as I recall it and write it down, it will help me to process all that he has said so far. I will write very few of my responses, as mostly I was listening quietly, taking it all in.

Lessons: Teachings of Kayasisis: Finding my Spirit Companion, Lesson 1.



Kayasisis: "If you would like to begin the search for the spirit-companion, Cianne iskwew, then we could begin right away, but without hurry. If another time is better, that also can be done.

Please come with me. We will speak as long as you are able to abide and listen.

*We took the Trinity paths up to the Sanctuary off to the side of the Bending Road.*

>Kayasisis raises his palms face up to the level of his waist.

Very well. To begin, we must determine your place in the Circle of Life. I have a sense of where you are in it, but we will see.

A more appropriate view of the Circle may be that of a sphere, but it is no matter. It means that it is deep. I sometimes wonder if the term" sphere" here is in relation to that.

Kiwapamitin manitowak. I -see- you. Kayasisis pays homage to the spirits of the sanctuary.

In the future, perhaps, we can convene in Provenance.

Look carefully upon the walls. Do you see the totems of the spirits?

These two are prevalent throughout. The light one--perhaps a beaver, and to her right is Big Eyes.
It has been my claim since my first dreams that these totems are the representations of spirits in the city of dreams, still here after time immemorial.
To my kind, this short lifetime is but a portion of our entire existences. I believe that the spirits of the originals are still here.


It means to me this: should we bond with them, they have the capacity to manifest locally through their totems.
There is a bear on Illapse. Should we make a relationship with him, he might step out there and protect us, for example.

Should enough dreamers form relationships with enough spirits, then the dream would be a very different place.
But the eons have passed, and dreamers go their own ways, advancing themselves in a city in which they often view only the mares as living beings.
The old spirits rest and tend to their spirit-lives, ignored, dismissed, forgotten.
Perhaps this is well. Or perhaps we are missing a potentially enormous piece of our dreams.
I would not expect a spirit to manifest on a whim. And, like all faiths and relationships, they must be cultivated.
In any case, we determined that Sadara, after her exercises, was close to a sea-star, and this we found, her totems in abundance, and now she has a companion.
So we will look for one which is compatible with you in your place in the Circle.


My sense speaks to me that you are in the north, or the west quadrant, and perhaps northwest is best. We shall see.
Before your first task toward finding your companion, we will explore these parts of the Circle.

In the outer part of the Circle in the West is autumn, it would be your favourite season, at least at some level.
It is the Circle with unselfishness as a prime characteristic of a dreamer
It means more than just in habit; it could also refer to the expanse of your views about other lives.

The Circle is deep with meaning at many levels. This part of the Circle, moving one level closer to centre, involves balance.
it is more than just eat, sleep and exercise. it has to do with emotions and detachment, for example.
It is to proceed moderately on the many trails of a life, and if excessive in one degree, then to tilt the balance oppositely with some counter instruction.

The West also pertains to Adulthood, which, for simplicity, may be a mature outlook or perspective regarding people and happenings round about you.
The West is for Swimmers. Those who have an affinity for oceans, rivers, lakes, and the creatures who dwell within them.
It is possible that you do not like swimming yourself. But fish, ducks, turtles and frogs might delight you, along with water-striders, beavers, otters and such-like.

Whales might be your interest, and there are indeed some whales and turtles here, particualrly in Lambent.
To one of the West, roots and berries are of interest. It might refer to Alchemy, as I saw your post.

But know that roots and berries might also refer to the deep-dwellings of individuals, and the fruition of their labours. It is of interest to the West.
That is how the Circle is. Close examination of the rings of the Circle reveal deeper, subtle meanings.
The second circle of West involves an affinity for the moon.

Those of the west can subtly affect the tides--the movements of people and the world itself.
You pull, they come. You push, they go away.
It may also mean that a one of the West is subject to mood changes, as with the phases of the moon. Some hidden, some full in their exhibition.
But at the centre of the Circle, alongside Kisemanito the Creator's vision, rests water. One of the four prime elements. Soulmasters here are sometimes in the West.
Water is the element of the dreamer who resides in the west quadrant of the Circle of Life.

>Kayasisis pauses, and makes a gentle smile.

Would you like to examine today the North quadrant, of which you may also be a part?

"Very well. You handed me a totem of a dreamer who was in the North of the Circle. it was the wolf.
While the West is the grizzly bear, red and filled with courage, the North is the loyal wolf, white.
Not surprisingly, the season of the North is winter.
While some view it as only frigid and cold, students of the Circle might see the season as one of deep rest and reflectivity upon life. A slowness, in order to experience more fully all that life offers.
Purity is the trait for the North, as unselfishness is to the West.
Purity could mean many things, of course. For brevity, I will move inwardly in the Circle of the North. This is Harmony.

Harmony would be a sense motion in the rightness of life's journey, an association with lives and procedings around about you.
It might include a sense of overwhelming peace when you are attuned to the world and others around you. It may not even include other lives or animals.
It may be that you know others who are "attuned to nature," for example. They conduct their lives in meaningful ways that benefit both they themselves and their environment.
North in the Circle, old age is important. For youth, it means that they respect Elders and appreciate their Grandparents.

For older dreamers, it includes the wisdom and maturity and appreciation of life, as well as memories.
And those in the North particularly like four-legged creatures--cats, dogs, horses, farm animals, moose, and such-like.

Wolves.
They are at home among the trees and forests then, taking refuge or shelter, or often feeling quite comfortable among the boles.
They enjoy the quiet, the sound of the wind in the leaves or in the boughs, the protection and the forest life dwelling there.

Those of the North often find themselves star-gazing, for they have an affinity for the stars and the heavens.
there are, again, many details to these concepts about the Circle.
Star-gazers, for example, may prefer vast distances between bodies, or great amounts of emptiness, in which to ponder life and the world.
They may like single points shining in the dark. They may like patterns of stars in the night sky. They may like the dark.
I have not looked carefully into all the weighty meanings of the parts of each circle, for I am not a scholar. But I hope that you begin to see the deeper meaning of this configuration.


Finally, for North, Kisemanito--that great, universal spirit of the multiverse--has placed Wind (Air) as the element central to that part of the Circle.
That would be a Dreamseer here.

I place one named Cianne in the West and North for this determination, realizing that such placement is not the sum of what she is in her existence.
Have you questions or comments, Cianne? Does this fit at all with how you view yourself at times?, and is one of those two more prevalent than the other?

I answered > Oh yes, I related to things you said regarding both the West and the North, but I think that North is much more prevalent.

>Kayasisis nods, satisfied.

Thank you. Let us begin your search, then. This will take only a few more moments for today.

I am going to place something in your hands. Your eyes will be closed.

You may then open your eyes if you wish. You must decide what it is that I gave to you. You may take days, weeks or even months if necessary to appreciate it.
The determination about this item will help guide us both to your companion.
There is no right or wrong answer. You must not think about what I or others would want for you.

I will not speak of why this is done, so as not to influence your outcome.

>Kayasisis reaches into his satchel. "Close your eyes, please, iskwew.

Kayasisis gently lifts both of Cianne's hands and folds her fingers over an object which he places in them, and then he steps back.

No words please. It is possible that I gave you nothing. That too is a solution. Only you know precisely what it is I gave you.

Kayasisis nods solemnly.

May your story continue, Cianne. I am grateful for the attention you have paid regarding the Circle. We will speak again at your wish.
Ekosi maka.

[Cianne]

Sentences in free flowing script continue on page 19.

This has happened before. In fact, I have written about it before, I imagine if I go back into my Musings of an Old Soul or other various journals I have kept throughout the decades, it may be nearly verbatim, or maybe not. But it is a familiar story.

I will start at the beginning. I was not going to seek the Wordsmith Mark, as I do not feel that one needs to display colored Crests or Marks for other people to see, but I was urged by someone to do so, so I did.

Actually, I will leave it there, omit details, and just pose a question.

Why is it, that if someone who has been a Wordsmith, since Gilean Majere's inception of it decades ago, upon returning, after an unforeseen absence, has to go through the proverbial hoops again and again and again each time to prove that they are "worthy" ?

Have they lost their ability to weave words over that time? Have they forgotten how to pick up a quill?, Have they lost the ability to think and form sentences?, or is it more likely that they have honed their craft and become more astute and prolific over the ages of time?

I do not crave fame, or power, or attention. I write because it is my passion.

This is just something that is very disappointing, doesn't make sense and that, I will never understand.

I thank you (you know who you are) for urging me to seek this, I was honoured by your compliments, but I will decline, and just keep doing what I love to do.

[Cianne]

Sentences in free flowing script continue on page 20.

In earlier pages I had mentioned about wanting to begin work with Kayasisis, a unique and gifted individual, he has so much to teach, and I have so much to learn. Here follows the account of our Second Lesson together.


Lessons: Teachings of Kayasisis: Finding my Spirit Companion, Lesson 2.




Well thank you for coming outside. I wished to show you the item that you gave me last time I saw you

Eha, iskwew. You are ready with the task, then?

>Cianne reaches into her purse and withdraws an item wrapped in soft cloth, she hands it to Kayasisis

Please describe or detail what it was I gave to you, if it was anything at all, Cianne. The only answer is yours.


>Kayasisis accepts the item wrapped in cloth, and fixes his gaze on Cianne before unwrapping it.


It is a cone from a pine, it has meaning to me.


Before I view it, iskwew. Was this task agreeable? Difficult? Exciting? A burden or freedom?

>Kayasisis listens and unwraps the cloth.

A cylindrical shaped item which is wider at the bottom and tapers to a point towards the top. Layers of hard woody scales spiral tightly around it's core creating a stunningly intricate geometric design. Deep brown in colour with scant hints of hunter green lend to it's slightly glossy finish.

It represents protection, also nurturing, and then new life, or rebirth. She keeps her scales closed tightly, protecting her seeds within, until just the right moment, when She releases them to the wind.

>Kayasisis turns the cone over in his palm. He smiles at something.

She will continue this more than once, until She, herself, drops from the branch, to become one with the soil.

That is what you placed in my hand.

>Kayasisis murmurs "waskweto."

Meaning, please?

And about fire, one named Cianne? Waskweto. Pine cone.

Fire, if it takes a forest, Waskweto's seeds will remain, to bring forth new life, hidden under the soil until it is time to begin again.

Cianne has chosen something of new life and longevity, as she has already said. This is an interesting choice.
But there is more to waskweto than this.
Eha, fire. Many will only germinate from the flames of a fire. Too hot, it burns. Not hot enough, nothing.
Just right, and a new generation begins anew.
But also, a food source for squirrels and rodents.

I did not know that, about the fire.

Cianne has chosen something that looks to her longevity, and to her youth, and to generations which in time will replace her, and it endures cold, and germinates with fire, and sustains animals.
Tell me if you are able to. Was it a difficult thing to imagine and bring about? Was it quick and instantaneous for you?

It was quite quick - Within moments. I cannot say why, because I am not sure myself, but there was no doubt.

Good, good. That is often the way of things: affinity for what leaps upon us. No judgments, and no ponderous deliberation.

What is so interesting and fits so well is that I do not think that Cianne is always so spontaneous, as she gives a great deal of thought and consideration to her topics.

Yes, that is quite right.

These two complement each other then. Cianne of the pine-cone.

Very well. The next step in this search for a spirit-companion will take us along trails. We need not do this together.
Increase your awareness of where you walk in the dream.

Notice the markings on the walls, the totems. And work carefully, without dismissing what seems to be irrelevant at first.

>Kayasisis leaned closer, his gaze glimmering.

Think now: It may be that under the pine, near to the ground, is where your spirit-companion dwells. She may not be a mighty pine at all!
If one looks for only one thing, one misses everything else.
And she may be a spirit who takes great comfort in the environment where the pines grow. Like the wolves.

This is the second stage of finding your companion. To open your scrutiny of the environment, using the pine cone as a primary marker for your nearness to the spirit which would bond with you.

I do not think I have seen a pine here at all, truth be told. But the point is that we are closing in on who your companion might actually be.
Walk the trails, then, as I will do, keeping in mind those qualities which you described to me about the pine cone.

Remember: New growth. Birth. Scales. Fire. Food. Longevity. Seeds.

These may all of them be aspects of your spirit-companion. Have you questions, Cianne of the pines?

No, not at this time. Thank you. I am looking forward to my wanderings.

Go slowly, as I will, and we will search. Let me know when you find something that encourages closer examination. Tell me why it does.

Kinanaskowmitin.